Today is 1/1/13. Welcome to the new year. I was nervous that you'd make your debut in 2013, instead of 2012. But, no. You definitely did not disappoint your mommy.
You, my little sir, arrived on 12/21/12. How awesome are those numbers?! We named you Alastair, because we really loved the sound of the name. And most importantly, we loved the meaning behind your name: Man's Defender. We gave you the middle name Lincoln because he was my favorite president. He was a bery strong man, who faced failure, and hardships, but kept on trying. Eventually, he achieved what he wanted, every time. Two strong names were given to you, my strong boy.
Let's relive 2012:
Our year revolved around YOU, as I'm sure the rest of our lives will too. We found out you were alive in April. That was the start of our routine doctor visits. Every other day, you and I went to the doctor EARLY in the morning. Ultrasounds. Poking. Probing. Bloodwork. Vitamins. Pills. Shots. Even before you had a heartbeat, I was going through a ton of pain, just to have you.
All throughout our pregnancy we had contractions, and I had to be very careful, so as to not lose you. Even before I heard your cry, you worried me.
You and I were determined to go full term. We waddled to work every single day! Even the nights that we had to go to the emergency room because you wanted to come early, or the times I was very sick, we still woke up at 6am, and dressed for work. I made a promise that I would finish up work until the very last day. I'm just grateful that you agreed to stay inside and help me fulfill this promise.
We made it until the last day of school, and went to the doctor that same day (Thursday 12/20/12). The midwife told us that we were just 2cm dialated (which we had been for over 4 weeks!) so we thought that you'd for sure make it until your due date after leaving the doctor. You weren't causing any more contractions, and seemed to be pretty calm.
Cut to the very next morning. It's 7am, and I wake up because I thought I had urinated on myself! I felt two small gushes of water, and thought my whole water bag had ruptured. I was wrong. But soon after realizing my water hadn't broken yet, the contractions started coming on VERY strong. I started to time them, and knew you were coming that day.
I called your Papi, who as been at work for only an hour, and told him that he might want to come home soon.
The pain was similar, but not as painful as passing a kidney stone. I started to feel intense pressure and told your dad it was time to drive to the hospital.
We fond out that upon arriving, I was already 7cm and 30 minutes later, I was 9cm and almost ready to push. Thing is... You were sunny side up. That means you were facing forward, instead of backwards. I felt like I was going to break my back every time you wiggled down. On top of that, I felt like I was going to pop a blood vessel in my head. Looking back, the pain wasn't too excruciating, but I was scared I was going to hurt myself pushing you out with any pain medication. I was straining every muscle in my body and for some reason, you didn't want to come out.
Oh, we found out the reason! You were stuck big boy! You decided to change position and face my left thigh. Babies can't come out sideways!! You got stuck under my pelvic bone, and even when they stuck their hands inside of me to reposition you, you decided to move back into that really horrible position.
I couldn't handle it anymore. I had to ask for an epidural. Unfortunately, that meant that the contractions decreased in strength and it be and harder to push you out still!
The doctors gave me pitocin to help, and then I started to really feel the contractions. They didn't hurt though. None of this really hurt, until we had been pushing for over 3 hours.
I became so incredibly tired. I felt like I was going to pass out soon. I told the midwife that she needed to call in some doctors to help me. I knew I was in trouble and physically needed some help. She tried to make me go without the help of the doctors, but I knew something was really wrong.
When the doctors arrived they told me they were going to use forceps to get you out. Forceps are like two HUGE salad spoons. The spoons go inside of mommy, and then are used to grab your head and help guide you out.
What does it feel like? Well... You know those games where you use the claw to grab the stuffed animal? Yeah, it kinda feels like that. They grabbed your head and twisted and pulled, but you weren't budging. I felt your head twisting as they pulled, but your body was lodged in place. I started to think they were going to pull your head off. And... I started screaming. It was extremely painful and SCARY. I kicked one doctor because she kept touching me when I had told her specifically that I did not want her touching me.
At this point, we had over 15 people in the room. You had pooped inside of me, and they were scared you had swallowed some. We were in the danger zone together at this point. We'd been in labor for over 15 hours, and pushing for 3.5 of those hours. They then brought out the vacuum to help get you out.
At this point, I feel that I'm going into shock. My body is shaking uncontrollably and they keep asking me if I'm cold. In my head I'm thinking how much more can I take before I scream for a c-section. I'm crying. I'm screaming. And they're telling me NOT to push.
With the help of the vacuum, I push and they pull you out. I thought you were going to break my pelvic bone for sure.
Your head came out first, and then your sideways shoulders, and then ::POP::, the rest of you. My stomach went from the size of a watermelon to :::whoooosh:::, flat. I felt so hollow without you inside! You cried immediately, and punched and kicked everyone. It was like you were saying "which one of you hurt my mommy?!"
At this point, I'm clenching your Papi's hand, shaking, and in lots of pain. From me kicking doctors and them putting hands, forceps, and a vacuum inside of me, I ripped a good amount of my skin. It took forever for them to stitch me up.
When it was all over. The only thing I wanted to do was pee like a normal person. No catheter. No help. Just me. They wouldn't let me though. Turns out that a 3rd degree laceration is pretty serious.
We spent two nights in the hospital, and it was uncomfortable.
Your dad did a great job in the delivery room. He held my leg, got blood all over his hands, and didn't flinch once. He encouraged me and allowed me to squeeze his hand really hard. But at night you have him a hard time. I could barely move, and was completely drugged up. The last thing you wanted was to be without your mommy. Daddy couldn't soothe you the same way I could.
It's been a rough 9 days. You've gone to the doctor 4 times already because your weight is dropping too fast. I know you'll chub up soon though.
All in all, 2012 has been something spectacular. I've weathered some rough seas personally and professionally, but it has been totally worth it to get to where we are today.
Life is definitely more exciting now that we have you here. Already you are mimicking me, and talking/gurgling at me when you are happy if upset. You lift your head up pretty well by yourself, and seem to be strong as ever.
We have a great year ahead of us little bear :)
