Dear baby,
do you know what I've gone through to get you here? I
know you haven't asked to come into this world, but I have WANTED you
for a very long time. I want you to know what life has been like for
your papi and I.
When did we know we wanted you? In
2009, your Papi and I naturally conceived a little one, but it wasn't
meant to be. We lost your big brother/sister after close to 4 months of
being absolutely ecstatic.
Your papi and I thought we both would
not be able to have children. I was diagnosed with PCOS and knew how
hard it would be, and your papi had contracted meningitis before we had
even met, and nearly died. He thought there was no way he could have
babies.
The day I told him I was pregnant, he said
"bullshit. By who?" Yup. That's your papi. Needless to say, he pissed me
off haha. "By who?? By YOU!" But it truly was not meant to be. I was
VERY VERY sick during that first pregnancy, and thought your
brother/sister was trying to kill me. The pregnancy was causing me to
have severe heart palpitations constantly. It felt like I was having
mini-heart attacks 20-30 times a day. I couldn't breathe. I was in
constant pain all over. And to kick me when I was down, the pregnancy
had caused me to get several kidney stones.
One night, I
was lying on the bathroom floor, shaking from the pain, and couldn't
even lift my head to vomit, and just had to do so lying down. I think I
scared your papi senseless that night. I was so pathetic looking.
Shortly after this, your sibling died. It was for the best, I'm guessing... but it emotionally scared me for a very long time.
Your
Papi and I knew we wanted you more than anything after this, and we've
worked so hard to get you here, so please remember us when you're a
teenager, and you hate us.
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